#MeToo噶瑪巴性濫權之第三篇回憶錄 The Third Memoir on Karmapa's Abuse
噶瑪巴與我的第三次真實性關係回憶錄
Memoir on my Third Actual Sexual Relationship with the Karmapa
(For English, please scroll down.)
在此，本人謹交代與噶瑪巴的第三次性關係事件的前因、經過及其影響。
首先，本人就與噶瑪巴的第三次性關係事件敍述其遠因及近因。
1-遠因
1-1-女方仍未清醒
自與噶瑪巴的第二次性關係之後，我仍然繼續沉迷在噶瑪巴的感情事中，無法離開不道德的關係。發生了那第二次性關係之後，他並沒有更關心我，反而回覆短訊更敷衍，訊息只是一兩個字扔出，令人有被玩完即棄的感覺。
1-2-噶瑪巴折磨女友
噶瑪巴從不正式提出分手，於性關係後冷回，並一直以拖延的方式回應，說「現在不方便」、「現在見客」、「現在有人在身邊」、「我病了」、「現在開會」、「看看吧」、「今天很忙」、「過兩天再說」、「今晚不行的」、「晚上找你」然後沒有找，「等等」、「我打給你」然後沒有打，諸如此類，各種借口層出不同。2018年7月11日，更叫我回去香港。2018年7月17日，噶瑪巴說：「我們已經有一次機會了，不要再強求」，及後我們通電話之後，他又馬上改口說：「先不要回去」。事實上，第二次性關係到第三次性愛期間的一個月內，雙方沒有視頻過一次，如此含糊不清的感情關係，造成女方情緖困擾。
1-3-噶瑪巴支開女友
由於噶瑪巴的一句話命令「去芝加哥」便主導了我的命運，我活像他的傀儡。2018年7月24日，我一個人飛去芝加哥。噶瑪巴把我支開到偏遠地方 。
2-近因
噶瑪巴的訊息
女方未覺醒，身心受盡折磨，仍然繼續陷入糾纏不清的感情關係中而無法自拔。2018年8月6日，他突然發訊息給我，說：「想見你」就這麼發一個簡訊又再使女方蠢蠢欲動。
3-經過
3-1-噶瑪巴酒店房門沒關
2018年8月7日，噶瑪巴發訊息，告訴我洒店地址。2018年8月8日，他叫我訂紐約曼哈頓Baccarat Hotel的酒店房間。同日晚上8:37PM，我住進了407室。2018年8月9日，清晨3:30AM，他發訊息叫我去他的房間502室。當時房門沒有待衛看守。噶瑪巴的房間門口沒關，他只用防盜門扣夾在門隙中間，任何人只要一推，便能輕易內進。
3-2-噶瑪巴命女方躲進廁所內
2018年8月9日清晨3:34AM，他命我躲在他的房間廁所內然後關門，但「外面的房門不要關」。我聽命躲在廁所內。
3-3-噶瑪巴命女方長跪聽法
2018年8月9日清晨3:39，噶瑪巴回到房間，他叫我從廁所出來。他坐在床尾的長櫈上，命令我跪下，我跪在他前面，雙手環抱住他的腰部。我那時已經很睏，一邊閉起雙目；一邊聽他開示。因為在2018年6月18日，噶瑪巴責備我要出家，沒有聽他的話，所以我一直以來對是否還俗的問題十分迷惑。他透過LINE發出的訊息如下：
「我以前跟你說了
不要出家
你沒聽」
2018年8月9日，噶瑪巴叫我回香港教人藏文，他告訴我：「只要做一個菩薩，是可以穿僧服的。」我一直以來困惑的問題——發生了這種事我究竟要不要還俗——他終於給予了我正面的回應。
3-4-以傳教士體位體位性愛
開示完了之後，噶瑪巴問我「要不要」，我點頭。然後，我們脫掉所有衣服，男方在沒有使用避孕套的情況下與女方進行了第三次的性愛。噶瑪巴以男上女下的傳教士體位插入並與女方進行性愛。男方沒有射精。之後他去洗澡，我們穿衣服，他主動把訂房間的一千美元放進我的褲子左邊的口袋裡。然後他帶同門外的保鑣離開，待他LINE訊息通知，我離開他房間。2018年8月9日清晨4:22AM，他命我「下去」離開房間並「要關門」。我在清晨4:27AM回到自己的房間，並發訊息通知他。
4-影響
4-1-女方企圖自殺
由於我一直感覺他在玩弄很多女生，身心受創。2018年10月16日，我寫了一封遺書，準備如他所說那樣跳河。
4-2-女方信心崩壞
那時我想：就在我未飛去美國之前，他答應了讓我跟著他，像之前那個北京女孩那樣每天都他住的地方。但到了美國之後，他沒有讓我到他身邊，而且在2018年7月3日，當我突然到訪他家中時，又見到了有三名女生。我被騙的感覺很強，非常失望。但是我好像還自己騙自己。我不斷地重複問自己：「他是不是騙了我？」、「他是不是在騙了我？」我還是不敢相信。之前所有對噶瑪巴及藏傳佛教的虔誠心和信心完全崩壞。
4-3-女方患上抑鬱
朋友開始發現我有中度抑鬱症狀，也來關心我。而我也把自己心裡的問題問她們：「他是不是騙了我？」我問房東朋友：「他是不是騙了我？」她點點頭。我極度難過的心情，無法形容。
4-4-女方終於覺醒
2018月10月19日早上，經過分享我的苦惱給年長的女性朋友聽，朋友立即反應說，他一直騙了我，而且他是一個「大騙子」。朋友說，他是一個玩世不恭的花花公子。其實，我也是有錯，一直以來「癡情」和「迷信」，才會被人欺騙。朋友分析：將來，如果他更自由，權力更大，可以不用談情，直接就叫女人脫衣服便幹那些事，自然有一大班女人伺候他。
朋友勸我，這樣的人也不適合我，勸我不要再繼續「迷信」和「癡情」。朋友說我太容易被人騙，給了我很多忠言。朋友跟我說：「他叫你來美國，但是又沒有好好安排你，關心你，不是騙你是甚麼？人家身邊有誰你不知道，他身邊有哪些女人，你不知道，所以連「現在」都沒有，談甚麼「將來」。他也沒兌現給你一千萬美金的承諾，不是欺騙是什麼？菩薩不會為了要交女朋友而叫人去死、去跳河的。法王不當你是甚麼，自己應該好好想自己前面的路怎麼走。」終於，我確定他騙了我，我自己騙自己。回想這八年從網絡性愛到真實性愛的整個過程，終於確認這是一宗欺騙感情、欺騙上床的宗教騙案。
4-5-女方被網絡欺凌
2019年1月23日，《鏡週刊》報導Jane Huang對噶瑪巴的性指控。我亦在自己的舊臉書上爆料，因而引來噶瑪巴等人到我的臉書抹黑及進行網絡欺凌。於是，我決定關閉臉書。
4-6-官方代表主動聯繫女方
羅卓仁謙代表官方對噶瑪巴性醜聞事件最高處理窗口，於2019年1月27日透過Messenger與本人對話欲了解本案，我因一開始情緒激動才提出賠償，但羅卓仁謙要求我將所有資料、證據交出，才談賠償。同日晚上，我思緒已平靜，所以向羅卓仁謙正式撤回賠償要求。我與噶瑪巴之間的事，官方的人早已知悉。另外，羅私下找我時訛稱衍空法師致電給他，為了要脅本人公布噶瑪巴的事會令自己失去工作；而他要證據的行為，是要先看我的證據，從中找漏洞去抹黑受害者，並試圖幫噶瑪巴湮滅性醜聞。
4-7-噶瑪巴其他女友聯合殘害女方
從2018年11月至2019年2月，有噶瑪巴的不同女友訛稱受害人，以假帳號與我對話，目的是套話、騙取關於本案的證據以找出各種漏洞以便進行恐嚇、攻擊、抹黑、甚或誹謗、人格謀殺，以收拾殘局。
4-8-女方願以自身經歷警示世人
由於事件到此地步，我覺得更應該將真相公諸於世，以警示世人。同時，我願意就我的所知及所經歷的，為Jane Huang作證。
Memoir on my Third Actual Sexual Relationship with the Karmapa
Here, I would like to explain the causes, the process and the influences of the third sexual incident of my relationship with Karmapa. First of all, I’d like to describe the remote causes and proximate causes of the third actual sexual relationship with the Karmapa.
1-Remote causes
1-1-I was Still Not Awake
Since the second sexual relationship with Karmapa, then I still continued to indulge in the relationship with Karmapa and I could not leave the immoral relationship. After that second sexual relationship, he has not cared more about me. Instead, he replied to me with short message and his manner was more perfunctory. His messages were only thrown out one or two words, which made me feel like being abandoned immediately after playing and manipulation.
1-2-Karmapa Tortured His Girlfriend
Karmapa never seriously talked about breaking up, and he was extremely inactive in replying messages after sexual relations, and he has been responding in a delayed manner, saying “it is not convenient now”, “now seeing guests”, “someone is now around”, “I am sick”, “Let’s see”, “Today is very busy”, “Talk after two days”, “Not tonight”, “Will look for you at night” and then disappeared at night, “Wait”, “I will call you later” but then there is no phone call, and so on. Excuses for the procrastination were varied. On July 11, 2018, I was asked to go back to Hong Kong. On July 17, 2018, Karmapa said: “We have had a chance. Don’t force it again.” After that, we talked on phone, and he immediately changed his command and said, “Don’t go back first.” In fact, during the period of time between the second sexual intercourse and the third sexual intercourse, two of us have not had a video meeting once. The ambiguous relationship has caused emotional confusion for me.
1-3-Karmapa Moved His Girlfriend
Since the Karmapa’s one sentence of words to command me to “Go to Chicago”, he has dominated my destiny. I lived like his puppet. On July 24, 2018, I flew to Chicago alone. The Karmapa moved me to a remote place.
2-Proximate Causes
A Message from Karmapa
I have not woken up, though I suffered from physical and mental torture, and I continued to fall into the entangled relationships and was unable to extricate myself. On August 6, 2018, he suddenly sent a message to me and said, “(I) want to see you.” A single simple message has made me want to have a move again.
3-Process
3-1-Karmapa Has not Closed Hotel Room Door
On August 7, 2018, Karmapa sent a message texting me the address of a hotel. On August 8, 2018, he let me book a hotel room in Baccarat Hotel, Manhattan, New York. At 8:37PM on the same day, I checked in and stayed at Room 407. On August 9, 2018, at 3:30AM in the morning, he sent a message commanding me to go to room 502, his hotel room. At that time, the door was not guarded by anybody. The door of the Karmapa’s hotel room has not been closed. He has only used the anti-theft door buckle to place in the door gap. Anyone can get into his room easily as long as they push the door.
3-2- Karmapa Commanded me to Hide in Toilet
At 3:34AM in the morning on August 9, 2018, he ordered me to hide in his hotel room toilet and close the door, but “the outside door should not be closed”. I have listened to him and hide myself in the toilet.
3-3-Karmapa Commanded me to Kneel Down to Listen to his Preaching
At 3:39 in the morning on August 9, 2018, Karmapa returned to the room and he told me to get out of the toilet. He sat on the bench located at the end of the bed and ordered me to kneel down. I kneeled down in front of him, opening my arms holding around his waist. I was already very sleepy, and so I closed my eyes while listening to him preaching.
On June 18, 2018, Karmapa blamed me for being a nun and not listening to him, so I have always been confused about whether I should leave the nun’s role. The message he sent through LINE is as follows:
“I told you before.
Don’t be a nun.
You haven’t listened to me.”
On August 9, 2018, Karmapa told me to go back to Hong Kong to teach people Tibetan language. He told me: “As long as you are a bodhisattva, you can wear nun clothes.” I have always been confused in deciding whether should leave the nun’s role or not when things happened like that. He finally gave me a direct response.
3-4- Having Sex in Missionary Position
After preaching, the Karmapa asked me if I wanted (to have sex), I then nodded. Later, we took off all the clothes and he had the third sexual intercourse with me while he has not been using a condom. The Karmapa has inserted his penis in the missionary position of man on top and woman below. He has not ejaculated. He then went to take a shower, and we dressed, and he took the initiative to put a thousand dollars for my room into the left pocket of my trousers. Then he took the door security guard away and left. I have been waiting for his LINE message so as to leave his room. At 4:22AM in the morning on August 9, 2018, he instructed me to “go down” to leave the room and “to close the door.” He told me to go to the room and to tell him once I returned to my room. At 4:27AM in that morning I sent a message to inform him I arrived at my hotel room.
4-Impacts
4-1-Attempted suicide
As I always felt that he was playing with a lot of girls, I suffered from physical and mental distress. On October 16, 2018, I wrote a suicide note, and got ready to jump into river as he told me to do so.
4-2-My Faith Collapsed
At that time, I thought: Just before I flew to the United States, he promised to let me follow him, like the Beijing girl who followed him every day. But after I arrived in the United States, he did not let me follow him. On July 3, 2018, when I suddenly visited his home, I saw three girls in his place. The feelings that I was being cheated were extremely strong. and I was very disappointed. I kept asking myself repeatedly: “Have he lied to me?”, “Is he cheating on me?” I still could not believe it. All previous devotion and faith to the Karmapa and Tibetan Buddhism has completely collapsed.
4-3-I Suffered from Depression
My friend started to notice that I had moderate depression and she cared about me. I also asked them my own questions: “Did he lie to me?” I asked my friend, the house owner: “Did he lie to me?” She nodded. I was extremely sad and could not describe my sadness.
4-4-Finally Woke Up
On the morning of October 19, 2018, after sharing my distress to older female friends, the friends immediately responded that he has been cheating on me and that he was a “big liar”. My friend said that he was a cynical playboy. In fact, I was also wrong. I have always been “infatuated” and “superstitious” and so I was deceived. My friend analyzed: In the future, if he is more free and more powerful, he can simply ask women to undress and do those things without having too much talk about it. A large group of women will then be waiting for him naturally.
My friend advised me that such a person is not suitable for me, and advised me not to continue “superstition” and “infatuation”. My friend said that it was too easy for me to be deceived and she gave me a lot of advice. My friend said, “He told you to come to the United States, but did not arrange you well and care about you. What is it if it is not a lie? You don’t know who is around him. You don’t know what women are around him. So you don’t even have “now”. What do you talk about “future”? He did not honor the promise of giving you 10 million dollars. What is it if it is not cheating? A Bodhisattva will not tell anyone to go to die or jump into the river in order to make girlfriend. The King did not regard you as anyone, so you should think about how to go to the front road by yourself.” Finally, I am sure he lied to me, and I lied to myself. Recalling the whole process from virtual sex to actual sex in these eight years, I finally confirmed that this is a religious fraud case that involves deceptive seduction.
4-5-Being cyber bullied
On January 23, 2019, “Mirror Media” reported the case of Jane Huang’s case of accusation on the sexual misbehavior against Karmapa. I also broke the news on my old Facebook, which led to Karmapa and others to get into my Facebook to defame and cyber bully me. So I decided to close the old Facebook.
4-6-Official Representative Took the Initiative to Contact Me
Lodro Rinchen is the highest official representative to manage for the Karmapa scandal. On January 27, 2019, he conversed to me via messenger in order to settle the case. I requested compensation because of the emotional instability at first, but Lodro Rinchen asked me to give out all the information and evidences before we go into discussion about the possible damages. On the same night, my thoughts were calm, so I officially withdrew the claim for compensation from Lodro Rinchen. The official organization knew the things happened between the Karmapa and me. In addition, when Lodro Rinchen looked for me privately, he lied that Master Sik Hin Hung has made a call to him. He threatened me that if I disclosed the things of Karmapa, I would lose my job. The purpose of his act of collecting evidences is to look at my evidences and find loopholes so as to smear the victims and try to help the Karmapa to annihilate the sex scandal.
4-7- Other Karmapa Girlfriends Jointly Harmed Me
From November 2018 to February 2019, different girlfriends of Karmapa has pretended to be victims and talked to me with fake accounts. The purpose was to collect information and defraud for the evidences of the case to find various loopholes for intimidation, attack, smear, or even defame, character assassinate in order to clean up the mess.
4-8-Willing to Warn the World with My Own Experience
Since the incident has reached this point, I feel that it is more important to disclose the truth to the world to warn the world. At the same time, I am willing to testify for Jane Huang with what I have known and what I have experienced.
#Metoo
#Metoointibetanbuddhism
#Thekarmapasexscandal
#大寶法王破戒交女友
#大寶法王性醜聞
